Concurrent Adoption?!

A concurrent adoption is what I am seeking to do.  This began back in April when I saw a beautiful little girl listed on one of my yahoo groups.  Someone was strongly advocating for her because of special need.  There had been inquiries about her, but nothing promising because of her special need.  I contacted that person and asked for more information.  She promptly sent me her file.

I contacted my agency to inquire about adopting 2 children at one time.  They, then contacted their china team, which in turn told them, the policy is that a single can only adopt one.  I was disappointed and let it go at that, but I couldn't get this little girl out of my mind or heart.

I e-mailed the advocate, she suggested that I speak with my agency about a singles waiver, so I did.  There were several hurdles to consider; the little girl was listed with another agency and I would need to have my home study agency perform an update to approve me to adopt 2 children.

The agency that currently had the little girl's file had agreed to transfer her file to my agency.  One would think this is the best news, and it should have been.   All the joy and excitement that came from reading the e-mail  my agency sent, stating  that they *NOW* had her file would quickly dissipate.  Since, I had not received any response back from my SW, I decided to contact my home study agency directly. I don't even how to begin to describe the conversation  I had with *****.  She is the most unprofessional  attorney that I have ever encountered.  She stated and I quote " how are you going to send 3 children to college, how will I feed and buy clothes for 3 children, where will you find time for 3 kids"?  In closing, she stated, if you want the girl, then leave the boy there, if you want the boy then let someone else adopt that girl, I don't think anyone should be adopting 2 children at the same time, couples or singles, unless they are related sibling group and even then it's a problem.  She was extremely heartless and callous.  When I hung up the phone, I was in total shock.

Later that evening, I contacted the SW and spoke with her.  Although gentle, she was now stating it's ****** agency and I have to follow what ******* says.  The home study agency is a one woman show.  There are no committees or anyone else that she needs to confer with, she is the be all end all. She ended it for me.

I immediately contacted my agency and alerted them to the disappointing news.  They were all so sad, and understanding to my plight.  At this point, they felt is was best to get Ming's dossier to China as to not delay his paperwork any further.  They gave me another option, submit my LOI for the little girl as soon as I returned with Ming.  Doing it this way doesn't come without risks; my agency can only hold her file for 3 months and my adoption is no where near being completed in that time frame.  It's a risk that I would have to take.

I contact my yahoo group advocate and explained what happened.  She in turn brought in another advocate, the original advocate for this child.  She e-mailed me and suggested I seek a different agency to do my home study.  Maybe, just maybe, I can turn this around. I e-mailed my agency, explained this to them and they sent me a list of home study agencies that they recommend.

I got right to work making phone calls.  Yes, I found an agency that would do an update to my home study and not request that I do a whole new stand alone home study for the girl.  I faxed over the paperwork for them to review.  They quickly to responded and informed that I would have to new clearances for their agency and there shouldn't be any problem.  They would mail out the agency application and provided with the fee for the update.  The conversation was progressing smoothly until she stated my SW also does home studies for them.

Long story short, several days later, I received an e-mail from that agency stating, after consideration, they WILL NOT do the home study update.  Once again, my home study agency stepped in and built a brick wall in front of me.  This was a crushing blow to me.  I still have the option of completing Ming's adoption;, and then submitting LOI for her.  If this is what needs to be done, then I'll do it.  I have to believe if I am the family meant for her, then it will be.

Decisions, decisions!!  After all that has happened with my home study agency; the unprofessional conversation and the stone walling, I have decided to seek an new home study agency to perform my post-placement  reports.  Going forward, thinking that I will submit LOI for the little girl, if she is still available, upon my return from Ming's adoption.   Another agency can perform the post placement reports and write the new home study for me to use a copy of my dossier.

Several months passed, time is nearing for Ming's LOA to arrive.  I had to make a decision on which home study agency will perform my post placement reports.  I looked up information on my FCCLI group and found a name of  a local SW.  I decided to contact her, to speak with about post placement reports. I explained why I wanted another agency to do them.  What she would go on to tell me, blew my mind.  She said and I quote, "that's  ridiculous why not just bring the children home at the same time".  I recounted the entire story to her and she is well aware of my home study agency. She informed me, there have been others that have complained that ***** is difficult .  She provided with an agency name and phone number, and told me to call them on Thursday.

Thursday couldn't come quick enough!  I called early in the morning and was greeted with a  woman who was extremely professional.  She listened attentively as I told her my long drawn out story.  She requested my adoption agencies number and contact person, at the end of the conversation she stated she would call or
e-mail later.  Given all that I had been through, I wasn't sure she would call or e-mail, I braced myself for another let down.

She didn't let me down!!! As promised the call came, and she said. "don't worry about anything, we'll do your update". The application was put in the mail and the compilation of paperwork started again, and only one home visit was needed.  The paperwork compilation shouldn't be that bad as it was for just an update.

Wouldn't you know, Ming's LOA arrived July 30th. My son is on a delay, once again.  I wish I had found this home study agency months ago.  Some how, I know that this was the path I needed to follow to get to JCCA.

The home visit was scheduled for August 10th, this past Friday.  The SW is going to expedite it as fast as she can, it should be done this week for my review.  She is an amazing woman, who said to me, we were destined to meet.  I believe we were.

The next hurdle is the singles waiver.  My adoption agency is prepared to bat for me and I can't wait to submit my LOI for little girl I have fought so hard for.  I only hope and pray that the CCCWA will approve me for the waiver.  If not, I know that she is meant for another family, but I had to try everything within my power before giving up.  There still is my second option, file for LOI upon completing Ming's adoption.